Sometimes i get mad, irritated and feel like punching them in the face.
But mostly i get frustrated and sad. The feeling that I'm not welcome in the place i most want to be, the place i most love. It rips my heart apart. It feels like having your best friend telling you how much she hates you.
It's the mother that have fostered and made you who you are that suddenly don't want anything to do with you.
And at the same time I cant be mad or start crying like i feel like doing. Because i have to set an example, I have to be strong and show that we women aren't weak and bad players. I have to say things so they can understand and change instead of just defend themselves.
I'm sick of being strong. I'm sick of males saying that women cant play, that they suck and are only good for making them food. Not because they are, but because they are females.
And I'm SICK of other women going "Hoho, all other girls are such fakes i know how to behave like a real gamer, I'm not a REGULAR woman I'm a better male-version of woman" Guess what, they don't think you are any more worth, to them you are the same only that you accept that they are the boss and they are only permitting you to be there, for now.
..
I just wanna play. I just wanna spend my time doing what I love. I'm even better at it than most guys, so why do i have to hear "ofc you suck, you are a girl" when they figure it out? Why is suddenly the smallest mistake the end of the world? WHY do i have to hear from guys that I fed their lane when I'm 5/1 jungle and they are 1/6 top, for the only reason that I am a girl? And WHY do I "play good for a girl"?
Being hated for something like your gender, for something you can't change. It really hurts.
I just wanna play like the rest of you, is that too much to ask?
